1. |
4am
01:40
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2. |
No Church on Sunday
04:15
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He fits in when he's choking on cigarettes
Every time he breathes out
Then breathing back in every shred of self doubt
All the words he'll exhale that night
To cleanse his filthy mouth
Will be vomited through his teeth
'Cause he can't stand the pressure
And the love to be
That's when every shred of self doubt
Every shred
Came tumbling out
Will he remember the days
When once all he had was attrition and space?
Will he remember the days
When once all he had was a bus that took three hours
Just so his home looked far away?
Will he remember his bed
When once there was just too much space in it to bear?
Looking young for his age
With a whole lot of love to give
And a fear of change
Fast-forward five years
And there'll be blood on his bed sheets
And hearts in his rear-view
There'll be a bottle at the ready
A new breed of worry
And no church on Sunday
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3. |
Between the Smiles
04:12
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Between the smiles I'm in denial
Forgetting how you feel:
That's all you
And no one can take it away from you
Between the smiles I might misplace my love
Roll back down Montreal
Instead of four floors above
The faults in the foot traffic tonight
They bleach my heart
And kill this energy
Between the smiles the water turns to wax
As I strain to project
All these feelings that I'm bound to forget
'Cause my brain's too wet
We juggle our joy
It's up then it's down
Then it's back around
You better soak up the rain
Get used to it
'Cause I'm drunk and I'm high
Half the time
Yeah, I know it kills this energy
You better soak up the rain
Get used to it
Watch it run all her makeup down the drain
And make everyone unfamiliar to me
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4. |
Dishonest Spit
04:06
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We're all in the same boat
But sometimes float alone
By the window sill
Pretty eyes are dressed to kill
By the window sill
You're crushing up love pills
Dishonest spit
Flying over everyone's head tonight
Dishonest spit
Fountaining desire
Buckled in the back
Riding way too fast in the car
And everyone around me
Is a denizen to my heart
We're all in the same boat
Until we feel alone
By the the window sill
You're crushing up love pills
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5. |
From the Car
03:58
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When the leaves hit the dirt
Everybody seems to get hurt
In the summertime
Leaves don't freeze
They burn
In the summertime
You don't freeze
You burn out
Left to your own thoughts
And all of the drugs
That you told yourself you would not
Tattooing lipstick circles on my neck
As I reach for the bottle
That's beside the bed
Then the winter hits
And you gotta try hard to live again
But the west coast ain't no better
No seasons
No beginnings
No ends
Left to your own thoughts
And all of the drugs
That you told yourself you would not
Tattooing lipstick circles on my neck
As I reach for the bottle
That's beside the bed
I had a dream
That every lover
Threw the other
From the car
At the same time
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6. |
Holiday Monday
03:40
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Key in the door
And I'm immediately floored
By a sea of red wine with bad motives
That could wash me to the basement
Where my blood could thin
And I could spin with the laundry
I'd blow off plans
So I could sit and miss you
And think all the thoughts
That met the whisky head on
Slightly concerned
Tomorrow's holiday Monday
So I can't buy my sleep medication:
J&B and cheap Sangiovese
I'd blow off plans
So I could sit and miss you
And learn what it means
It's not as pathetic as it seems
You stole my purpose
And my ability to stay just above the surface
Instead I'll drown in the sea of self-pity
Which as it happens is just as hard to cross
As the ocean that came between us
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7. |
Ladybug
03:37
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Please excuse my late-blooming nature
I left my juvenile try-hard in the sky
When I fell towards the earth like a ladybug
Sadly, I’m in the body of a guy
At least when I hit the ground I’ll surely die
Please excuse my late-blooming nature
I know I’ll make a million mistakes
The learning curve gets steeper every day
And I’ll try to keep this moving with no rain delays
But I could never promise it
I never wanna leave my bed
Like every other kid
I just want someone to rub noses
And smell the roses with;
And live with
Please excuse my late-blooming nature
I left my juvenile try-hard in the sky
I’m a ladybug
Looking for a height that’s tall enough
To kill me;
To end my life
But I’m too light
I’m a ladybug
Looking for a high that’s tall enough
To kill me;
To end my life
But I’m too light
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8. |
Clippers
03:55
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Clipping locks on the bridge
Where lovers have etched
Their permanence on the edge
Between a past
And a future
And a straight ahead
They'll miss it
Everyone who ever falls in love
Might talk about their wedding
And the kids running around the house
Over ex-boyfriends
Who had the same talk
But it wasn't meant to be
The fervor of the night
And if it don't shine just right
Well, you can bring your own clippers next time
Or just move on
I don't wanna get stacked up with
The billions of boys
Who spoke just out of turn
They should never have spoken at all
Their knowledge of the world
Is the tallest brick wall
Their knowledge of the world
Is only left turns
I should never have spoken at all
My knowledge of the world
Is the tallest brick wall
My knowledge of the world
Is only left turns
Clipping locks on the bridge
Where lovers have edged
Their permanence on the edge
Of the fervor of the night
And if it don't burn just right
Well, you can bring your own clippers next time
Or just move on.
Just move on.
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9. |
Might Taste Better
04:15
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I'm the kind of guy who looks both ways
I'm the kind of guy who gets hit anyway
Flip through the air with me
Where words can go in any direction
I'm the kind of guy who takes for granted
But I'm the kind of guy who's easy to manage
I never forget
But I'll never be a threat
I'll keep that restaurant that we found
Between you and I
I'll put the pen to the paper
To try to explain why
Flip through the air with me
Where promises only break
When we kiss the concrete
Might taste better than my lips
When they're bitter
Might taste better than what drips
Down your sweater
It might taste better
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10. |
I's & U's
03:34
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I remember
The fog that cleared from my bedroom
And the loosening of the corset strings
That had me fettered in skin
Tightly tourniqueted
And changing my voice's sound
Changing the words I thought would come out
Pushing
Pulling
Leaving
And breathing hard down my neck
Condense the alphabet
To I's
U's
Goods
And goodbyes
I'll save those feelings
For the middle of the pillow
I'll save those feelings
For staring into breakfast tomorrow
And for putting on winter tires
To cope with the seasonal patterns
Like pushing
Pulling
Leaving
And breathing hard down my neck
Condense the alphabet
To I's
U's
Goods
And goodbyes...
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11. |
Six O'Clock
02:54
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I told you that my throat was parched
And that the little bag on the table was dry
As if it was news
Worthy of the six o'clock
'Cause God knows at that time of the evening
I could never be contented or happy
I'll be scrambling for a connection
And pressing my lips onto metal
Instead of onto you
You said it's easy
For a little while just let it be
If I know what's good for me
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12. |
Nothing But
03:05
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You're a gun in the war
A flower bore
By a beautiful daughter dressed in white
Face down at the bar
Crashing your car
Into her field of roses
You're nothing but
Nothing words
Hope you find someone
Who likes living with the birds
You're nothing but
Empty remarks
Hope you find someone
Who likes living in the dark
Make my systems fail
Like a poison cocktail
Spiked with your homemade drugs
That make me oblivious to the obvious;
I don't know what I want
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13. |
Glue
03:37
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Be careful which door you choose
Be careful which outlets you use
She'll have you out on the sidewalk
Between two apartments
To fade to black and blue
Think she'll be better off
Spitting up hairballs and residue
Instead of me and you?
You'll be in heaven
Between old lovers and new
But it won't be so hard to choose this time
I swear
The bed sheets yellow and red
Your brain and your body
Slowly turning to liquid
But she's made oceans like this before
So bring your boat for when you pull out
From shore
You'll be in heaven
Between old lovers in the nude
But it won't be so hard to choose this time
I swear
You'll remember the sidewalk
And fading into the cracks like glue
Hardened and spread
Like the first day you met
You'll be out on the curb
Exchanging final words
And it'll either be a try for friendship
Or headboards on your wall
While you're trying to sleep
Headboards on your wall
All night long
When she's through and through with you
She'll walk right over you
When you're through and through with her
And all you wanted to do
Was anything but hurt her
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14. |
Big Black Car
02:57
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Drivin' in my big black car
Nothing can go wrong
I'm goin' and I don't know how far
So, so long
Maybe I'll sleep in a holiday inn
Nothing can hurt me
Nothing can touch me
Why should I care?
Drivin's a gas
And it ain't gonna last
Sunny day highway
If it rains well, it's all the same
'Cos I can't feel a thing
I've got a big black car
Nothing can hurt me
Nothing can touch me
Why should I care?
Drivin's a gas
And it ain't gonna last
I see the stars above
Oh yes
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15. |
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Every time I get scared
That my apartment will catch fire again
Or that you'll leave and then...
The climb will fade
And the days will dull
I'll wait for a call
That my family has died
Every day that shines
Every star that dies
Is already in me
The mirror's wet
From long hot showers
And teary eyes
Reflecting me and all I've got
What I am
And all that I'm not
But even when it has all gone wrong
I still have my sight and my songs
But the climb it fades
And the days, they dull
I wait for a call
That my family has died
Every day that shines
Every star that dies
Is already in me
Everything that seemed like a petty memory
Was always soaked in some kind of beauty
Like when we were on the bus
And I pointed out the setting sun
Then so did two others
Every moment like that
And every one in the past
Reflects in your mirror in the morning
Every day that shines
Every star that dies
Is already in me
I'm always nervous when my phone rings
But there's a first time for everything
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Connor James Halifax, Nova Scotia
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